Trying to sleep

I feel uneasy. I can feel my breathing increasing, my body sweating and my hands twitching. It's an uneasiness that has almost become the norm. 

I manage to control my breathing and clasp my hands only for my feet to twitch and my mind to race. I try to shift my mind, then my fingers move with an irritative focus, pushing, rubbing and unsatisfied emotion in your finger, how does that even happen?

The program in the background (that I was meant to fall asleep to has now finished and for the last ten minutes I've been trying to not need to go to the toilet. After failing that, getting up even seems like defeat, I'm more awake. Dam it! 

I've for a podcast to listen to, but it's only 24 minutes. That's not going to be enough. Though at least for now (while I type this) I don't have to clasp my hands. 

Well let's continue with this routine I call going to bed, I think my mind calls it no sleep over think time...